Okay, so I think every one of our stories have some sort of elephant in the room, something that takes up space. It keeps us from telling the real story happening below the surface. So much could be hidden in the darkness, because of just one thing.
It’s been fear for me, as long as I can remember. I have fought against it and with it for such a long time. It’s met me in every highlight of my life, but also the footnotes. Whether you call it anxiety, fear, or worry, it wants to keep you in a tight box.
Fear has done a lot for me that I wish I hadn’t allowed it to.
Fear has written texts and emails for me.
Fear has accepted and declined invitations for me because I let obligation and people-pleasing get in the way of choosing well.
Fear has left some of my opportunities unopened, as if it were unwanted news or junk.
Fear has kept a mask on me so that little to no honesty and vulnerability would show.
After all, you fake it until you make it, right? Even if I’m not doing fine (like I tell everyone I am), could I possibly admit that? I find myself listening to fear’s voice more often than truth and love. It’s because it is more familiar, louder, and validates the lies that I catch myself thinking. Maybe you have these thoughts too.
“No one really cares at the end of the day.”
“I need to go to the party or they will think I don’t like people, excitement, or events.”
“No one is actually going to stay once they know who I truly am.”
“They think I can’t do a good job on this, so I’m not going to even try. It must be true.”
Somehow, we’ve gotten too comfortable with fear. But it does anything but comfort us. Fear is dangerous. Fear is poison to our minds. Fear feeds us lies, making us think that we deserve more. Fear has the potential to suck out all the joy, happiness, and truth in our minds, hearts, and lives.
We’ve got to label the bottle for what it is, or it will become more powerful than it should have ever been. A realization of what something is can change everything. Process what you have been believing, living, and thinking about yourself, others, and your life. Suddenly, things will make more sense than ever before and you will have answers. The answers to your questions you find may chock you. I remember the day I realized I had a huge problem with letting go; not only was I not willing to let go of unnecessary things, but also relationships that weren’t good for me. Ouch. They were connected.
Not everything anxiety and fear tell are true; few things actually are. Too often we hesitate making any tiny decision, and begin to agree with the quiet thoughts that tell us we can’t do this or aren’t enough. We miss out on so much because we pause, but then also step back and don’t end up doing anything.
The stuff we would rather not go through will be the very things that help to grow, stretch, build, and transform us into gold. Gold cannot exist without refining fire. It’s time for me (and time for you) to start to build a life out of love instead of fear. Let’s let fear remind us to fight, but that’s all. It’s only when we know fear that we can understand how much how much we need the opposite—true, real, lasting, durable love.
Love lasts, even when it feels like cutting the tie.
Love fights, even when it feels like giving up.
Love shows up, even when it feels vulnerable and exposed.
Love that builds a strong foundation, instead of tearing down.
Love stays, even when it feels like running the opposite direction.
Tonight, this week, this month, this year, this life—we have a decision. Will we let fear keep us standing still, or will we let it push us towards something better—love?